Are you a victim of Teen Dating Violence?    
 
Are You dating someone who...

• Won't accept breaking up?
• Is jealous, possessive, won't let you have friends, checks up on you?
• Tries to control you by being very bossy, giving orders, making all the decisions, not taking your opinions seriously?
•  Puts you down in front of friends, tells you that you would be nothing without him or her?
•  Scares you? Makes you worry about reactions to things you say or do? Threatens you? Uses or owns weapons?
•  Is violent? Has a history of fighting, loses temper quickly, brags about mistreating others? Grabs, pushes, shoves, or hits you?
•  Pressures you for sex or is forceful or scary about sex? Gets too serious about the relationship too fast?
•  Abuses alcohol or other drugs and pressures you to take them?
•  Has a history of failed relationships?  Blames the other person for all the problems?
•  Makes your family and friends uneasy and concerned for your safety?

If you answer yes to any of these questions you could be a victim of dating abuse.
Dating violence or abuse affects one in ten teen couples. Abuse isn't just hitting-- It's yelling, threatening, name-calling, saying, "I'll kill myself if you leave me," obsessive phone calling, and extreme possessiveness.

What if your partner is abusing you and you want out?

• Tell your parents, a friend, a counselor a clergyman, or someone else whom you trust and who can help.
• The more isolated you are from friends and family, the more control the abuser has over you.
• Alert the school counselor or security officer.
• Keep a daily log of the abuse.
• Do not meet your partner alone. Do not let him or her in your home or car when you are alone.
• Avoid being alone at school, your job, on the way to and from places.
• Tell someone where you are going and when you plan to be back.
• Plan and rehearse what you would do if your partner became abusive.

How to be a friend to a victim of teen dating violence.

Most teens talk to other teens about their problems.
If a friend tells you he or she is being victimized, here are some suggestions on how you can help:

• If you notice a friend is in an abusive relationship, don't ignore signs of abuse.   Talk to your friend.
• Express your concerns. Tell your friend you're worried. Support, don't judge.
• Point out your friend's strengths--many people in abusive relationships are no longer capable of seeing their own abilities and gifts.
• Encourage them to confide in a trusted adult.   Talk to a trusted adult if you believe the situation is getting worse.   Offer to go with them for help.
• Never put yourself in a dangerous situation with the victim's partner. Don't be a mediator.
• Call the police if you witness an assault.   Tell an adult--a school principle, parent, guidance counselor.
• Start a peer education program on teen dating violence.
• Ask your school library to purchase books about living without violence and the cycle of domestic violence.
• Create bulletin boards in the school cafeteria or classroom to raise awareness.