SAFETY WHILE YOU'RE IN THE RELATIONSHIP:

* If an argument seems unavoidable, move to a room or area that has access to more than one exit, away from the bathroom or kitchen, or anywhere near weapons.

* Is there a phone in the house, in case the violence starts again? How easily can the phone cords be ripped out of the wall? You can obtain a free cell phone, programmed to dial 911, from your local domestic violence shelter (i.e., Quigley House, Hubbard House, Betty Griffin House).

* Practice how to get out of your home safely. Identify which doors, windows, elevator or stairwell would be safest to use.

* Have a packed bag and an extra set of car keys ready in order to leave quickly (you may want to hide a set of car keys outside). Include important papers (birth certificates for the children, social security cards, etc.), as well as comfort items for your children, in your bag.

* Identify a neighbor you can call and tell about the violence and ask that they call the police if they hear a disturbance coming from your home.

* Devise a code word to use with your children, family, friends and neighbors when you need the police.

* Decide a plan where you will go if you have to leave home.

SAFETY WHEN PREPARING TO LEAVE:

* Open a savings account in your own name.

* Leave money, extra keys, copies of important papers and extra clothes with someone you trust, so you can leave quickly.

* Determine who would let you stay with them or lend you money. Keep in mind the availability of domestic violence shelters.

* If you have pets and you plan to bring them to safety with you, put together a getaway bag for your pet, including their important papers (proof of rabies shots and other important medical information) and their favorite toy/comfort item. You may bring your domestic animals with you to Quigley House to help keep the entire family safe.

* Keep the Quigley House phone number (1-800-339-5017; 1-904-    284-0061) close at all times and keep some change or a calling card on you at all times for emergency phone calls.

* Review your safety plan as often as possible in order to plan the safest way to leave.

* Obtain an Injunction for Protection (Quigley House has advocates at the Clay County Courthouse who can assist you with filing). There are two types of injunctions: Standard (no violence) and No Contact.

THINGS TO HAVE READY IN CASE YOU NEED TO FLEE:

SAFETY WHEN LIVING ALONE IN YOUR HOME:

* Change the locks on doors and windows.

* Install security mechanisms, such as window locks, better lighting, window locks, smoke detectors, fire extinguishers.

* In rural areas where only the mailbox may be visible from the street, cover the box with brightly colored paper or paint so that police can more easily locate the home.

* Obtain an Injunction for Protection; keep it with you at all times.  Even if you have left the state where the Injunction was originally granted, the unexpired injunction is valid in any state in the country.

* Call the police if your abuser violates the Injunction for Protection order.

* Inform neighbors and landlord that the abuser no longer lives with you and that they should call the police if they see him near your home.

SAFETY ON THE JOB AND IN PUBLIC:

* Decide who at work you will tell. This should include security persons. Provide a photo of your abuser to be used for identification.  If you have an Injunction for Protection, you may want to make sure that your employer and/or security at your job has a copy.

* Arrange to have someone screen your phone calls if possible.

* When you leave work, have someone escort you to your car. Use different routes to go home from work. Also vary the times, and use different routes to go places you visit on a regular basis, such as church, the grocery store, school, etc.

SAFETY WHEN CHILDREN ARE INVOLVED:

* If you have children, rehearse an escape route and a safe place for the children to go if there is an emergency (if violence is occurring in the home, if there's a fire, etc.).

* Teach the children how to call the police or a family member if they are snatched.

* Talk to schools and childcare providers about who has permission to pick up the children, and develop other special provisions to protect the child. If you have an Injunction for Protection that includes the children, make sure that your child's school or day care provider has a copy.

* Find a lawyer knowledgeable about family violence to explore custody, visitation, and divorce provisions that protect the children and yourself.

INTERNET SAFETY :

Email is not a safe or confidential way to talk to someone about the danger or abuse in your life; please call our hotline at 1-800-339-5017, the Florida statewide Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-500-1119 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE. Traditional "corded" phones are more private than cell phones or cordless phones.

* Be aware, there are hundreds of ways that computers record everything you do on the computer and on the Internet.

* If you are in danger, please try to use a safer computer that someone abusive does not have direct access, or even remote (hacking) access to.  It might be safer to use a computer in a public library, at a trusted friend's house, or at an Internet Café.

* If you think your activities are being monitored, they probably are. Abusive people are often controlling and want to know your every move. You don't need to be a computer programmer or have special skills to monitor someone's computer activities - anyone can do it and there are many ways to monitor.

* No matter what you do, it is impossible to clear all of the traces of information stored inside your computer from your internet activities. It is possible for someone with physical or remote access to your computer to discover where you have been on the Internet.

* Computers can provide a lot of information about what you look at on the Internet, the emails you send (emails are not confidential; they can be traced even after you have deleted them), and other activities. It is not possible to delete or clear all computer "footprints".

* Do not store passwords (checking off the box "remember my username"or "reemember my password"), as it makes it extremely easy for the abuser to access information.

* If emails are sent, delete them from the send box and then delete the email from the deleted items/trash box. However, be aware that after taking these steps, messages can be recovered from your email service provider.

* If harassing emails are received from your abuser, save them as evidence.

* Use a web-based email service, like Yahoo or Hotmail.

* Choose passwords that are not easy to guess, such as a combination of letters and numbers.

* Keep all personal files on a disk and make all files password protected.

* In email correspondence, avoid including information that your partner/former partner may be able to use against you.

* Empty your computer "Recycle Bin" before shutting down the computer. The Recycle/ /Trash Bin holds all deleted files until it is manually emptied. Until it is manually emptied, the abuser will be able to see files which have been deleted, since they have not permanently left the computer.

* Make sure the "Use Autocomplete" box is NOT selected. The function will complete a partial web address, giving the abuser the entire address the victim has visited. If using Internet Explorer, this box can be found on the MS Internet Explorer page by clicking on the "View" icon at the top, then "Internet Options" and the "Advanced" tab. About halfway down, there is a "Use Autocomplete" box that can be checked and unchecked by clicking on it. Make sure it is unchecked.

* If you are using a computer that your abuser has access to, you may be leaving a trail that can be traced to this web site. Be sure to clear the view history of the web browser when you are through. Instructions for Clearing the View History in your Web Browser are as follows:

Using the toolbar of your web browser, find the menu selection that gives you view options.

In Microsoft Internet Explorer, use the View button, then selct Options, then Navigation.  In the History section, select Clear History, then OK.

In Netscape Navigator use the options button, then select Network Preferences, then both Clear Memory Cache and Clear Disk Cache, then OK.

In AOL click on the Members menu, click on Preferences, click on the www icon; select Advanced and then Purge Cache.

Other web browsers should have similar features.

Be aware that this is not foolproof.  An observant computer user may notice that the history is gone, and get suspicious.

YOUR SAFETY AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH:

* Have positive thoughts about yourself and be assertive with others about your needs.

* Decide who you can call to talk openly to give you the support you need.

* Remember Quigley House has a 24-hour hotline that you can call for support, as well (1-800-339-5017)

* Plan to attend a victim support group for at least 2 weeks to gain support from others and learn more about yourself.

* Remember, no one deserves to be hit!

YOU CAN WRITE YOUR SAFETY PLAN IDEAS OUT ON THE THINKING SHEET:

Click here for a PDF file you can print out. If you need Acrobat Reader, get a free version here: